Life

Blue Like Tony

Cathy LaGrow 30 Comments

I learned today that Tony died.

To be honest, I didn’t exactly remember his name, although it was printed on the employee tag that he’d always worn. But when the baby and I went to the grocery store, after dropping off my oldest at preschool, I saw a display set up, blocking check stand 13.

I stood off to the side for a minute, staring at the flower bouquets, the framed photographs, the cards and pieces of paper taped up, words scrawled across them. A lady was standing in front of it with her cart, staring at everything. I waited until she moved away.

As she left, our eyes met; hers had that grave look of solidarity that people get when something bad has happened, in the news. Can you believe it? Isn’t it terrible?

That’s when I realized: someone had died. As I got closer to the largest photograph, I thought Uh-oh…I hope that’s not who I think it is.

It was. It was the tall man with the gray hair and mustache and the paunchy belly, the one who always smiled at you and kept up a cheerful patter and joked with your boys, even when they gave him that silent, sober stare that toddlers are so good at. The man who remembered little things about you. The friendliest cashier that the grocery store had. Continue reading →

What Not To Wear

Cathy LaGrow 22 Comments

Last Friday, I embarked on Operation Reorganization 2.0 and man, did I get a lot done. After several straight years of being pregnant (and feeling awful), nursing babies (and feeling awful) or having the world’s neediest toddler perpetually clinging to my legs and screeching (which I never did get used to) (but I love you more than life, baby!), we are finally to a place where I can get some projects done while my husband entertains the boys. And after several years of neglect, there is a lot to get done.

I used to think things like: “What if something (some vague, spy movie-ish thing) happens, and all the computers in the world go on the fritz, and I have to prove Dan and I have been married for all this time?” So I kept everything. When some friends helped us with Operation Reorganization 1.0, a few months ago, I got rid of stacks of utility bills and phone statements and other papers from the 1990’s.

This time around I was tackling clothing, and I was ruthless. I emptied a large dresser full of our “sports clothes” (including season after season of my husband’s softball gear), and “yard clothes” – stained and holey t-shirts in various sizes, droopy shorts, and those cotton sweatpants with elastic at the ankles that no one should wear outside the confines of their own property (and I know several people who would end that last statement before the prepositional phrase.) Continue reading →

A Modern Day Magi

Cathy LaGrow 23 Comments

I had a nice little post just about ready to go for today, and you would have liked it, I think – it was informative, with a dash of personal context, and it was about cooking (which, who doesn’t like that) – (okay, I might be overselling it here…it was fine, and you’ll get it next week) – but then something happened which slammed me upside the head, in a wonderful way, so I’m going to tell you about that, instead.

Last Saturday, after a movie date with my oldest boy (using gift cards), we met my husband and baby boy at the mall (for cheap hamburgers.) Then, since we were right there, I casually suggested we stop in at Borders bookstore.

Actually, it wasn’t so much a suggestion as it was my husband saying, “Well, what do you want to do now?” and me standing on the damp sidewalk and vaguely looking around as though I was considering the question; then mumbling and waving my hand towards the left; then him heading to Borders without further ado, because we’ve been married for 21 years now and he is a kind and patient man.

Once inside the store I abandoned him and the rampaging little guys – I really can’t tell you where they went, probably to ride the escalators a dozen times. I was transfixed by the tables and racks near the entrance. All those new releases, those beautiful, colorful covers. There was the new Jonathan Franzen novel that my brother had been pestering me to get. There was a new title by Julia Glass (one of my ten “Chicks Who Can Write”)! And there, my goodness – Edmund Morris had finally finished his spectacular Teddy Roosevelt trilogy – there was Colonel Roosevelt!

I walked around and around the tables, dreaming. More memoirs, more fiction, more history. There was a day, truly, when I would have already owned a great many of the titles I was looking at. Continue reading →

What the Monk Said

Cathy LaGrow 29 Comments

PART THREE (the conclusion)

(To start at the beginning of my monastery journey, you can read Part One, here. Part Two can be found here.)

A man stands talking to the monk, but as soon as he leaves, I make a beeline for the desk. I have planned my opening line. One of the bookstore shelves had a small card on it, printed with the endorsement: “Brother Martin’s Favorites – ask him why!”

“Are you Brother Martin?” I ask.

I don’t think he is, of course – the monks take turns manning the desk, so I have about a one in twenty-five chance – but it’s the best icebreaker I can think up.

To my surprise, he smiles and nods his head. “I am.”

Here we go. Continue reading →

Silent Meals, Reading, and the Worst. Map. Ever.

Cathy LaGrow 7 Comments

PART TWO

(If you missed Part One, and you don’t know why I’m spending my 40th birthday in a monastery, you can read about it here.)

I don’t sleep well that night, of course. I rarely do; and here, the floors are creaky and the bed is small. I futz around, moving furniture, rearranging pillows, nearly knocking the crucifix from the wall once, when I flail around with extra blankets.

The monks gather in the chapel for Vigils at 4:15 a.m. I do not join them. Continue reading →